Time to Heal
by Karrissarella
Summary: Kida is the victim of a rape case. This has completely teared him apart where he can't even speak, barely eat, and it seems like he's lost his full of life personality. Can Mikado help put him back together before it's too late? Eventual Mikado/Kida.
1. Broken

**Title:** Time to Heal

**Author: **Karrissarella

**Genre:** Angst/Romance

**Rating:** T

**Summary:** Kida is the victim of a rape case. This has completely teared him apart where he can't even speak, barely eat, and it seems like he's lost his full of life personality. Can Mikado help put him back together before it's too late? Eventual Mikado/Kida.

A/N: Prompt came from an anon over at the drrrkinkmeme over at Livejournal! :)

_Flashbacks/Messages_

**SN**: _Message._

* * *

_Kida shivered as he looked up at the black silhouette that was pinning him down. He already would've pushed his attacker off of him with his feet if they weren't already tied down as well as his wrists were tied to the bedpost. It was in a basement with thick cement walls, he knew no one would hear him if he screamed – but just in case the attacker had gagged him. He tried to fight by bucking his hips to some avail, but that only excited the mysterious man more as Kida had been knocked out for a good while and woke up here with no memory of what happened beforehand, and the rapist, Kida had assumed since his pants were gone, leaving the bottom of him completely exposed._

_"Get off of me!" He yelled, trying to wreck his body free from the ties. He moved his head up and headbutted the man when he got closer to him. That only left the gang leader feeling dizzy and he felt himself collapsing again. He felt a blade against his neck, nearly pressing into his skin before-_

Kida shot up in his bed in a cold sweat. He panted heavily, glancing around quickly, only to find himself in his bed, alone. No one else was in his apartment. It was a small place so he easily would've seen if someone was in here and there were no good hiding spots where the possible intruder could hide in. Still, he slowly moved out from his bed, grabbing his wallet chain he left on his nightstand. "Hello?" He said barely above a whisper.

He was relieved when he did the fifth check around his apartment, finding absolutely nothing. He finally felt himself calming down before he heard his computer go off with a message. He jumped at the sound. He shook his head at his silliness and moved over to the computer.

**Private IM**

**Mikado: **_Masaomi?_

**Mikado:** _Are you there?_

**Mikado:** _Where have you been? You haven't been in school for three days?_

**Mikado: **_Sonohara-san and I stopped by your apartment but no one answered. Is everything alright?_

**Mikado:** _Please call me._

Kida slouched, letting out a exasperated sigh. He couldn't tell Mikado or Anri. Hell, he couldn't even tell Saki, or his parents...or anyone. It could have been anyone. What if it was someone he knew? Why would anyone want to do something like that – to him? Okay, he could think of a few reasons but...why? What reason was it for? It killed him inside to think that a complete stranger did it just because. It made him sick. So sick -

Kida stood up quickly and moved into his bathroom, throwing his head over the toilet, and soon enough, he was throwing all of his conflicted emotions into the toilet. He heaved for nearly an hour before his body let him stop. He caught up with his normal breathing before he felt water welling up in his eyes. He laid his head on the end of the toilet seat, not caring anymore, he just cried and cried. It seemed like all he was doing lately. He felt completely and utterly useless, so pathetic, defenseless.

–

Kida curled up in a ball on his bed, under all his blankets, tightly keeping them down on the bed. He didn't sleep all day, but staying in bed, not leaving his home, not making any situations with anyone seemed like the safest option. He heard his phone going off all day with all sorts of notifications noises.

Calls. Texts. Voicemails. Emails.

A hand poked out from under the blankets and grabbed his phone from the coffee table, sliding it back under the blanket. He flipped his phone open, going through all the messages.

"Five voicemails. Please put in your pin number." Kida did as he was told, clicking the correct buttons.

_"Voicemail, February 20th, 12:00pm. -"_

_"Masaomi. Is everything okay? I've sent you many messages through texting and e-mail. Sonohara-san and I are really worried about you. I know you've skipped school before but you've always texted back the reason. What's happening? Are you alright? Please call back as soon as you can."_

Beep.

_"Voicemail, February 20th, 8:00pm. -"_

_"Kida-kun. I know Ryuugamine-kun called you at lunch today, but I just want to make sure you're okay. I've also texted you but I just got so worried – I felt it might be better to call, that maybe you'd pick up." There was a long pause. "If you feel like you can't talk to us about it, I understand, but I do hope you're being safe." Another pause, a more serious tone of voice came through the line. "If you're in trouble – you know we'll protect you." And another. "Oh, I-I'm sorry, Kida-kun. I-I have to go. Please let us know you're okay!"_

Beep.

_"Voicemail, February 23rd, 8:00am. -"_

_"Kida-kun~ I've gathered information that you're skipping school. Why is that I wonder? Did you go back to the Yellow Scarves? No, they disbanded, right? Did another gang recommend you? Is this about Saki-chan? Mikado has contacted me, hoping to get some sort of information for him. Don't be afraid to give me a call! Bye-bye!"_

Beep.

Kida froze after hearing Izaya's voicemail. He gulped, remembering the blade that was against his neck – but...did that actually happen during his attack? He had so many nightmares since then – all different scenarios, all still so torturing and keeping the memory that a rape even occurred so fresh. Though, would Izaya hide behind a mask? He knew Izaya and knowing that man, he most likely would've done it without a mask and rambling the entire time during the attack. "Yeah, definitely not." Kida whispered to himself.

The rest of the voicemails and messages were from Mikado and Anri. He frowned, turning his phone off, laying it down on the bed. He gripped onto his pillow, fluttering his eyes open and close, afraid of having another nightmare.

Maybe he'd go to school tomorrow. Distractions seemed nice.

–

"Masaomi!" Mikado exclaimed, surprised to see him at school. He ran over to his best friend, along with Anri following behind him. "Kida-kun!" She said, relieved. Their relived faces seemed to fall back into a state of worry when the blonde didn't greet them in his usual cheerful way and wave his hands to try and make his friends stop worrying about him.

Kida trudged his feet to his friends, he tried to force a smile, but he knew that his friends didn't buy it. He thought going to school would distract him, but he realized he couldn't just leave his thoughts at home. They would go everywhere with him.

"...Masaomi?" Mikado questioned, exchanging glances with Anri before turning back to his best friend. "What happened, Masaomi?"

"...Kida-kun?"

Masaomi lowered his head, he could feel his eyes welling up again and he didn't want to let Mikado and Anri see that. He felt his body tremble, shaking his head. "I-I-I-" he stuttered, balling his fists at his side. Why couldn't he just say what happened? He frowned, so pissed at himself. Why did he let this happen to himself?

–

_Masaomi's Apartment. _

Mikado heard Masaomi mumble something about making tea, but he reached out and grabbed Masaomi's hand. Masaomi turned to him slowly, with such emotionless eyes. It was unnerving the way Masaomi's eyes didn't reflect with excitement. It's like the life was taken right out of him. Mikado simply shook his head, smiling genuinely.

Masaomi knew that that meant they didn't need any tea. The two needed to know what was going on with him. He gave a small sigh and walked back, sitting on the edge of his bed.

Anri chewed on her lip, gripping onto her skirt. The silence was nearly killing her. This wasn't the Kida she knew. Mikado cut into her thoughts, breaking the silence.

"When you're ready, Masaomi."

Masaomi gave a small nod.

There seemed to be a long, painful silence between the three and Anri and Mikado's heads seemed to snap up quickly once they saw Masaomi open his mouth to speak. Masaomi looked down at the two, he closed his mouth, frowning. He lowered his head, feeling so useless. These were his _best friends_. Why couldn't he tell them what happened?

"M-Maybe you can...text us? Or write it down on paper?" The short-haired girl suggested softly, looking up at her friend.

Kida motioned with his hands for a pen and paper and Anri shyly looked around for some but Mikado nearly scrambled to dig in his backpack. He took out his school notebook and a pen, handing it to Kida.

Kida placed the notebook on his coffee table, taking a deep breath as he pulled the cap off the pen. He pressed the tip to the paper. He slowly traced an 'R' on the paper. He moved to the next space, printing what looked like an 'A' on the paper.

Mikado and Anri leaned over notebook, waiting anxiously for the next letter that Masaomi would put down. Masaomi's breath began to shake, as well as his hand, shakily writing out a 'P'. Masaomi dropped the pen, moving his hands over his face, feeling the water spill from his eyes again.

"...Rap?" Mikado questioned. "I mean, yeah, it's pretty bad music-"

Anri's glasses flashed, her eyes went wide, locking eyes on Kida's. "...Rape?" She asked softly.

Mikado's blue eyes went wide, looking up at his childhood friend now. "Rape? Masaomi?"

Kida just nodded, before shaking his head, wrapping his arms around his stomach. He stood up abruptly and ran to his bathroom. Mikado and Anri frowned, looking over at each other as they just listened to their friend release his latest food in the toilet.

–

Masaomi finally moved out of the bathroom, wiping his mouth with his sleeve, coughing. "Sorry..." He said, before noticing that a lot of his stuff was missing in his room. He frowned, seeing his best friend shoving his toiletries into his messenger bag. "...Mikado?" He said softly, looking around, noticing the absence of Anri. "Where's Anri?"

"She went home." Mikado said simply, turning around and smiling. "Get what you need. You're coming home with me." He said, offering his backpack back to him.

Kida's eyes reflected in blue ones, and he shook his head. "N-no. I'll be fine." He argued, "I shouldn't have told you guys.

Mikado's eyes went wide at the comment, frowning. "Not tell us! Kida, you were raped. You could've been killed!" he frowned, before pulling the bag back to himself and grabbing the blanket off of Kida's bed. "You're coming home with me and you're staying there for now. At least until who we figure out who this asshole is."

Kida's eyes bulged at his friend's choice of words. He hardly recalled Mikado ever cursing, ever. Kida glanced away, reaching to grab his pillow. He knew arguing with Mikado when he was like this was useless. "Only for the night, okay?" He whispered to Mikado.

Mikado gave him a warm smile, grabbing the rest of Kida's necessities. "Come on, let's go." He said, reaching down to grab Kida's hand, before feeling Kida's hand twitch and pull back immediately. Mikado blinked, turning to him. He frowned, Kida looked terrified.

"It's okay." He said in a softer tone of voice. "It's just us." He said, extending his hand to him again. Kida hesitantly took Mikado's hand and they walked out of Masaomi's apartment.

–

_Mikado's Apartment_

Kida tossed and turned on the futon, whimpering. "N-no. St-stop it!" He yelled.

_The man was different this time – the man was always different in his dreams. He felt the body press down against him, he felt the man whisper something seductive in his ear, calling him a good boy and to be a good boy. The man kept going on and on about how he was the prettiest boy he had ever seen._

_Both of their heads turned when the door swung open and saw a sillhoute of a man with a phone in his hand. "I've called the cops." The voice rang throughout the room and soon Kida heard sirens going off, but felt the head of a gun being pressed to his head._

"NO!" Kida's eyes went wide and he took in his surroundings. He was a little frightened when he realized he wasn't at his house but quickly realized who's place it was. "Mikado!" His head whipped around, still hearing a squealing sound in the apartment. "Mikado!" He called again, panicking.

Soon the blonde heard footsteps coming down the small hallway, he closed his eyes – not wanting to see who it was if it wasn't Mikado.

Mikado leaned down in front of his best friend, "Masaomi," he said softly. He watched the golden eyes flicker open. He watched his friend relax, "Are you okay?" Mikado asked worriedly. Masaomi nodded slowly, still hearing the shrieking sound that sort of sounded like a siren. "What's that noise?" He asked. Mikado blinked, "O-oh. I was just making some tea. Did the kettle scare you?" Masaomi averted his gaze from the dark-haired boy.

Mikado let out a small sigh, smiling weakly. "Would you like some?" He asked, "you barely ate your lunch at school yesterday." He stood up and moved back into the kitchen, pouring the tea into two small cups. He handed one to Kida – who waved his hand in dismissal but Mikado continued to thrust the tea towards the blonde.

"I won't be able to hold it down," Kida whispered to him.

"Try," Mikado said, "you don't have to whisper. No one else is here, Masaomi." He said, setting the small cup into Masaomi's hands.

–

Mikado logged onto his laptop after he finally coaxed Masaomi that it was okay to go to sleep. He offered his bed to him. He sat on his knees in front of his laptop, logging onto chat and the DOLLARS forum. He didn't want too many people involved in this case, it was sensitive and it wasn't a simple seek and find like it was with Sonohara-san.

**Tanaka-Taro logged into the chat.**

**Kanra:** _Taro-san~~~! You made it tonight!_

**Kanra:** _Oh, it's been so lonely here, Taro-san~! ;A;_

**Setton logged onto the chat.**

**Kanra: **_Setton! You're here too! Finally~! I've been waiting allll dayyyyy!_

**Setton:** _Evening, Kanra-san. Evening Tanaka-Taro-san._

**Tanaka-Taro:** _Evening._

**Tanaka-Taro:** _Can I ask you guys for help?_

**Setton:** _What for?_

**Kanra:** _Ehhhhh~? For what?~_

**Tanaka-Taro:** _It's about Bakyura-san._

**Private IM from Kanra.**

**Kanra: **_Oh~? Did you find out whats going on with Kida-kun~? Oh, I'll have to be more swift with my work! I didn't get any clues! How did you find out?_

**Tanaka-Taro:** _He told us._

**Kanra:** _Us?_

**Tanaka-Taro:** _Sonohara-san and I. He..._

**Kanra:** _?_

**Tanaka-Taro:** _I just need you to get as much information as you can once I tell you. Deal?_

**Kanra:** _It'll come with a price~_

**Kanra:** _but okeyyy~! What is it?_

**Tanaka-Taro:** _He's been raped. It's like...Masaomi isn't Masaomi anymore. I need you and Celty-san to help me._

_

* * *

_

_A/N:_ That's the first chapter! Hope you enjoyed! Figured I need to get back being active on this account by posting new fics instead of updating old ones? Yeah...guess that's my thing.


	2. Fix

–

"Mikado.."

Mikado nearly jumped at the familiar confident voice. He turned from flipping the burger meat in the pan, turning around to see his best friend. He smiled gently.

It had been a few months and Mikado had kept the investigation with Izaya and Celty under wraps. He didn't want Masaomi to worry anymore than he needed to. Especially when he was slowly getting back to himself.

"Masaomi...you're not whispering." Mikado said gratefully, looking up at him. He watched Masaomi open his mouth, almost like he was going to tell a confident lame excuse like he always did but he watched the blonde relax and shut his mouth once again, before glancing away. Whatever Masaomi thought must have stopped him from saying his next words. Masaomi usually always had some sort of sexual content to his conversations, which had probably stopped him from continuing.

"It was getting too quiet in here," Masaomi spoke again. "It was...quiet. Too."

Mikado frowned at his best friend's words. He knew what they meant. It was quiet where he was raped, when he was raped. He shot the blonde a weak smile, "Dinner should be ready soon, why don't you go take a shower?"

Masaomi sighed, before turning around, moving into the small bathroom, opening a cupboard and laid the towel on the counter. He started to remove his clothes. He pulled his hoodie over his head, throwing in on the ground. He turned and stared at the bruises and scars that still looked so fresh and had seemed to get bigger everytime he stared at them. Bruises and scars used to be something he would be proud of. The signified that he fought for his friends, he was loyal, he stood up for himself. Those scars he would show off to his friends and go on and on about how badass he was. Now, they were reminders of how he couldn't protect his own body. How would he ever be able to protect the people he wanted to ever again?

He pulled down his pants, kicking them under the counter as he removed his boxers as well. He turned on the shower, waiting for the water to get warm.

–

Mikado had set two small plates of hamburger helper on the table for them along with two drinks. He heard the shower and the shifting of the water, signaling that Masaomi was indeed using the shower. He was thankful for that at least. In the beginning when he told Masaomi to use the shower, he would often find his friend standing in front of the shower in just his boxers, talking to himself.

He flipped his laptop open, figuring he could get some work done while Masaomi was in the bathroom.

**Tanaka Taro logged on.**

**PRIVATE CHAT WITH TANAKA TARO, KANRA, AND SETTON.**

**Tanaka Taro:** _Has anyone figured anything out yet?_

**Kanra:** _Have you got me anything else to work off of? There are a lot of underground basements, masked rapists out there._

**Tanaka Taro:** _He's stopped whispering. He's got his voice back, at least._

**Kanra:** _Hm~_

**Setton:** _If he's speaking regularly, why not try to get Bakyura-san to talk about the incident? If he's...ready, I mean._

**Kanra:** _Yes, and then maybe we can work on what were supposed to be doing~_

Mikado heard the shower shut off and he quickly gave his farewells before closing his laptop. He stood up and moved back into the kitchen, sitting down in front of his plate. He smiled up at the blonde who was wearing a loose t-shirt, and very, short pajama shorts, tossling his wet hair across his face.

Mikado grunted as he felt the tent in his pants start to form. Fuck, why did he look so goddamn good? No wonder people wanted a piece of him. He was gorgeous. Mikado shook the thoughts from his head. Oh god, what was he thinking? This was his best friend. His best friend who just got _raped._

Masaomi took a seat in front of his plate, blinking. "Are you okay, Mikado?" He asked, seeing his friend fidget. Mikado laughed nervously, shaking his hands in front of his face. "Ah, n-no! Of course not!" He smiled weakly, trying to will his erection down.

_Quick. Think of something terrifying! _Mikado thought to himself. _Orihara Izaya. Getting a vending machine thrown at you. Erika and Walker going on and on about their favorite manga. Sonohora-san's boobs. _

Kida blinked, raising his brows up at his friend's contorted facial expressions. "Are you sure, man? You don't look so good."

Mikado felt the tent in his pants collapse and he sighed of relief. "Ah, no. I'm fine. Sorry. Stomach cramps." He winced at his lie. Could he have said anything more girly?

Kida seemed to have bought it because he began to push his fork around his plate, taking small bites of his food.

"Masaomi...?"

Kida looked up from his food, over at his best friend.

"Ah, uh...do you want to...talk about it?" He suggested softly. He watched his friend drop his head, and he moved his hands up in front of his face again, waving them frantically. "Ah, y-you don't have to say anything if you're not ready yet! I-I'm sorry. It was bold of me.." He apologized quickly. "It's just-"

"Okay," came a softer voice from Masaomi that seemed to cut into Mikado's rant.

The dinner table both fell silent rather quickly. Mikado waited for Masaomi to start, knowing this was hard for him.

Mikado noticed Masaomi twirling a loose hair around his finger tightly, knotting it. It was something that Masaomi did when he was nervous or scared, Mikado had noticed. It was cute.

"I...can't exactly remember everything. I have numerous nightmares with different rapists in different situations. It's hard to keep them all separated from...what really happened. They all seem so real." He began softly.

"If you need time to think about it before speaking, take as much time as you want, Masaomi." Mikado reassured the blonde who was now fiddling with his hands.

"I never thought this would happen to me. I was supposed to be able to protect myself and other people. How the hell am I supposed to do that now?" Masaomi said softly, his hands balling into fists in his lap.

"Masaomi, this isn't your fault."

"Then who's is it?" He snapped at the raven-haired boy which caused Mikado to back up a bit at his response.

"That bastard who raped you." Mikado said calmly, frowning. Masaomi avoided eye contact for a long time with Mikado before he abruptly stood up. "I'm going to bed." He stated, turning on his heel and walking down the hallway.

Mikado sighed, staring down at the two nearly full plates. He stabbed his fork into a piece of meat.

That went well.

–

"Now, Masaomi-kun. I know this may be hard for you, but can you walk me through what happened during the time you were raped?"

Masaomi shifted uncomfortably on the couch in a therapists office. Mikado and Anri pushed the blonde to go and at least talk about it, and Mikado even offered to go with him.

"It's hard for me to remember what exactly happened." He admitted nervously, before glaring up at the familiar informant who was sitting next to the therapist on the opposite couch.

"It's okay, Masaomi-kun, take your time." The therapist responded softly while she wrote some things on her clipboard. "Now, Masaomi-kun, whenever you're read-"

"What the hell is _he_ doing here?" Masaomi glared up at the broker.

Izaya let out an amused chuckle, "now, now, Kida-kun~ Just think of me as...a cop." He said nonchalantly. "I'm merely here to collect information and that's it. I promise no spreading of the information unless you deem it okay." He smiled over at the blonde who still seemed to be intimidated by him, even more so than before.

Kida frowned, turning back to staring at the balled fists in his lap. There was a short silence until the therapist broke it casually.

"Masaomi-kun, what do you remember about the night of the attack? Can you tell me what you were doing before?"

Kida began to chew on his fingernails while he thought about the night and began whimpering to himself without realizing it, he snapped back to reality when he felt a hand on top of his. He slowly looked over to the raven-haired boy sitting next to him who was giving him an encouraging smile.

"I was visiting someone in the hospital and...when I was walking home...someone grabbed me from behind and put a gag in my mouth. I tried – I tried to fight him off but he had a good grip.."

"Do you remember where you were at the time when he grabbed you?"

Masaomi frowned, "the only thing I remember is...I was about a block away from the hospital before I got dragged into an alley." He murmured softly, and the therapist leaned forward but was still taking notes on her clipboard. "And then what, Masaomi?"

"I...don't really remember where he took me too. I was terrified that I was going to die, that I wouldn't be able to graduate, or travel, or confess my feelings to the one..." he stopped, "to the one I...love." He softly, almost like it was a revelation to himself.

At this time, everyone had their eyes on Kida intently, hanging on every word and waiting for his next. "And...would the one you love – do you think they would be the type of person to do this?"

Kida's head snapped up, his eyes wide as saucers. He shook his head quickly, "never!" He shouted so loudly – it caught everyone off-guard after having such a quiet speech the entire time.

"Okay, so – what was your attacker wearing? Take your time."

Masaomi chewed on the inside of his lip, "he was wearing all black, and he had a ski mask on..."

"Did he ever say anything to you while you were being attacked?"

Masaomi shrunk back into the sofa, he felt small, very small. He felt like the people in the room were giants and he was just a small, insignificant ant, just waiting to be stepped on. "I-" he started softly, just above a whisper. "He-" he felt the tears fall down on his face. He didn't even realize he had started – this situation had made him feel so numb.

"Okay, one last question, Masaomi-kun. Do you know why anyone would have any reason to attack you like this?" She asked the now-shaking boy.

Masaomi had shook his head quickly, not wanting to answer anymore questions. He knew that wasn't the right answer because he knew there were many people who would want revenge on him from last year, from the Yellow Scarves vs. the Blue Squares, from not saving Saki, from the certain informant sitting right across from them as they spoke.

"I wanna go home. I wanna go home." Masaomi repeated, looking over to Mikado, "Mikado, I wanna go home."

Mikado simply nodded over at him, pulling Masaomi into a tight hug. "We'll go home, okay, Masaomi?" He turned to the therapist, giving her a sweet smile. "Can we make another appointment for another day? I think he's had enough for one session." The therapist was about to agree before the blonde cut her off.

"I don't wanna come back. Don't make me come back!" He yelled.

"Masaomi – this will help yo-"

"NO!" He pushed his friend away, "No! It's my choice! I don't wanna come back!" He said, moving to wipe away his tears but the waterworks just kept coming. He couldn't stop them. His next words shocked everyone in the room. Masaomi stood up, glaring down at Mikado, "you're just like the rest of them! Always telling me what to do when I can say no! No means no!" He repeated the three words that were grained into their brains during every after-school special. He stormed out of the small room and ran into the stairwell, falling back into a corner, covering his face while he cried – hoping the tears would stop soon and he could actually feel some sort of emotion in his body than just this numbness.


	3. Taking it Into His Own Hands

A/N: Enjoy!

/Celty's messages/

_Flashbacks_.

* * *

The door clicked from the stairwell and there the information broker stood. Kida seemed to cease his crying immediately, changing from waterworks to dry sobs. Izaya gave his signature smile, holding out a hand to the ex-leader. "Can you talk to me?" He asked, "No future sabotage, no sharing of any of the information you share with me with anyone else. Information broker's honor." He said, smirking.

Kida stared up at the information broker for a long time, still letting out dry sobs every now and then. His body seemed to relax finally and he stared at the extended hand in front of him. "Why would I tell you?" He asked, slowly standing up. He had to keep some sort of pride in himself and he wasn't letting Izaya play some damn game with him again. Not after this. He was done with games.

"Ah, Kida-kun has his defense up~" Izaya seemed to sing. He shoved his hands back in his coat pockets. "Well, do you really want to know why I want to know?"

Kida glared softly up at him, balling his fists at his side tightly. He dug his nails into the palm of his hand. Did he really want to know? Izaya could have been the person that started this whole mess in the first place and was now just tagging along to win more reactions out of the boy. "...Yes," he finally stated.

Izaya's smile grew wider, "Ryuugamine-kun has asked me and the Black Rider to gain more information on this case."

Kida frowned, blinking a couple times. "Mikado...asked you?" He watched the informant nod, before chewing on his lip. He knew giving his emotions all out to Izaya had always been a terrible idea, but his face had never been a blank canvas.

"You don't want to know because you know what has happened when we encounter each other, right Masaomi-kun?" Izaya said, leaning against a nearby wall. "On the other hand though, you do wish to know because you want to know what Mikado has told myself and the Black Rider about you and your unfortunate incident. Am I wrong, Masaomi-kun?"

–

Mikado and Celty were on the other side of the wall, their ears pressed against the wall, waiting for Masaomi's response. Celty reached down and typed on her PDA, /are you sure this is a good idea?/ She moved her phone in front of the gang leader.

Mikado sighed softly, "Izaya is the only person that I know that can rile the most emotions out of Masaomi. All of this depends on what Masaomi will tell or won't tell Izaya-san." He answered her. Celty shook her helmet, still not knowing if all of this was a good idea. She never truly liked the informant in the first place.

–

"You said Mikado asked you and the Black Rider for help?" Masasomi finally asked, slowly standing to his feet.

"Yes," Izaya answered simply.

"I want to talk to the Black Rider."

Izaya blinked, throwing him a little off-guard. He was waiting for the blonde's usual tirade of outspiraling emotions. "Wow, this incident really has got your guard up~" he sang. "You're so interesting, Kida-kun~"

"I want to talk to the Black Rider." He repeated, moving to lock eyes with the broker. "Where are they?" Izaya moved his hand and opened the door to the staircase. "Transporter, he wants you." He said, skipping out into the hallway.

Celty tilted her helmet but moved into the staircase where the familiar blonde was. /Kida-kun?/ she asked. /You wanted to speak with me?/

Kida looked up at the dark figure. "Yes...I figure you may be a bit more honest than Izaya." He answered softly.

/Okay, shoot./ Celty responded back.

"What exactly did Mikado say to you?"

Celty took a minute before typing back a response. /He wanted our help to figure out what had happened – to get you back to your old self, so to speak./

"And that's what Izaya is for." Kida said, looking up at the black rider. "So...what was your part?"

/Well...it was also to gain information as well, but.../

"but...?"

–

_Mikado looked up at his two elders, "Masaomi cannot know about this. I don't need him worrying about the rapist finding him or coming back. If you happened to find the rapist – don't attack him. You can put a little scare in him. Izaya-san with your...words and blade and Celty-san...with just you, in general. Leave the attacker to me." Blue eyes flashed with determination up at the two, "Understand your jobs?" _

_Izaya grinned playfully, nodding. "This should be fun, Mikado-kun~ Always a pleasure doing business with you." _

_Celty simply nodded, /Understood./_

–

Celty lowered her head, shaking it. /It's confidential./

Kida frowned, he didn't understand why everyone was keeping things from him. This was his rape case, wasn't it? Why didn't he get to know anything with this underground investigation that was going on? He pushed past the headless rider to find Izaya and Mikado on the other side, pressed up against the wall. It would've seemed comical if the situation hadn't been so serious.

"What the hell is going on, Mikado?" Kida said softly. "Why are Izaya and the Black Rider always with us all of a sudden? I don't need you guys to do an underground investigation for me." He replied, his voice shaking. He could take care of himself. No, he couldn't. Isn't that why so many people were trying to take care of him now?

Mikado opened his mouth to retort, but quickly shut it when he heard Masaomi's next words.

"I'm going to the cops."

Mikado didn't hesitate to run after Masaomi after he heard those words. "Masaomi! Wait!" He said, following him out the exit.


	4. Information

A/N: Enjoy! :) It's getting a little more exciting!

* * *

Izaya grinned, turning to Celty. "This is a lot more fun than I thought!" He said, giggling to himself. He wasn't surprised when he saw the PDA shoved in front of his face.

/You are one sick man./ it read.

Izaya smiled, "Don't you see, Transporter?" He continued when he saw Celty tilt her helmet. "Kida did not just get raped."

/I know that, it's been a few month-/ Celty stopped her typing once she saw the informant leaning over her shoulder. He smirked, wagging his finger. "Ah, ah, ah. Kida was raped long before then too. It could've been months before he finally told Ryuugamine-kun and Sonohora-san." He said, twirling around Celty almost like he was in a dance.

"You see, rape victims that come to the cops right after they've been raped is very, very rare." He explained. "Whether it's due to the rapist threats, or just the general shame – which I'm sure is the latter for Masaomi-kun~" he said, "rape victims often go to the cops when it's too late."

Celty shook her head, he didn't understand what the man was getting at. /So what do we do?/

Izaya shrugged his shoulders, "I'll continue to collect information. Afterall, Masaomi is very precious to me and to know someone else may be toying with him makes me a little bit jealous~" he said, before twirling around to make his exit. He looked over his shoulder at her, "you can just sit pretty until we find the rapist – right, Transporter?" He smirked before skipping down the stairwell.

–

"Masaomi! Masaomi!" Mikado called, panting as he finally caught up with his best friend. If there was one thing that Masaomi could do – it was sure as hell run fast. He reached out and grabbed his friend's wrist.

He wasn't surprised when he saw Masaomi yank his arm back to himself. This time it wasn't because Masaomi was afraid of a human touch, or a possible attack. No, this was because Masaomi was pissed and hurt, and this time – Mikado was the one who inflicted the pain.

"I'm moving back home." Masaomi said softly, keeping his back turned to Mikado.

"Masaomi, don't be ridiculous-"

Masaomi turned, shooting a soft glare over at Mikado. "Me?" He chuckled in amusement, in sick amusement. Mikado wasn't sure if he liked the eeriness of that coming out of his best friend's mouth. "You are the person who is trying to pick a fight with my rapist!"

"Masaomi, I-"

"What the hell were you thinking? Involving that Izaya bastard with _my _rape case? Like he needs anything else to torture me with!" Kida frowned, "and the Black Rider? It's obvious what you got her for. One, to scare the shit out of the rapist, or two, to fucking kill him."

Mikado frowned, his blue eyes flashing dangerously into Kida's golden ones. "How the hell are you going to tell the cops everything if you can't even tell a therapist? If you can't even tell me?" He stated softly. "They'll want to know every nitty, gritty detail – all coming from you." He told him, before taking a few steps forward. He reached down and grabbed Masaomi's hand, who surprisingly, didn't pull back this time. He gave it a small grip. "Masaomi, I'll tell you why I did everything I did – just...come home."

Masaomi looked down at their linked hands, looking up at the raven-haired boy. He glanced away, he knew everything Mikado was trying to do was just to help – but how would he ever understand?

"I want to tell you everything, but – I think there may be only one person I can tell that too."

Mikado nodded slowly, "Okay. Who is it?"

–

This was virtually the last person he wanted to tell this to, but he knew it was one of the only people where he could be himself around and not feel ashamed, because Saki – she didn't judge you. She just smiled and gave her opinion.

He sat at the side of her hospital bed, reaching out to grab her hand and she gave him a warm smile. "It's good to see you again, Masaomi." She greeted.

Masaomi nodded in response, "Saki." He states seriously, staring up into her eyes.

"Masaomi is troubled. What is it?" Saki asks softly.

He grips onto her hand tightly, "Saki, I-" he gulps and he looks up at her, still smiling, her face isn't spread with worry or fear of what he'll say next. "I was raped."

Saki doesn't falter. Her smile is replaced with a frown, and she wants to give him sympathy, but she doesn't because she knows that's not what Kida wants. She chooses her next words carefully, "When?"

Kida lowered his head, "a while ago. During the time, I was also preoccupied with the Yellow Scarves and keeping my friends safe. After the gang disbanded, it hit me that...I had been raped." He said softly.

"Masaomi." Saki starts. "Are you sure it was before then?"

Kida furrowed his eyebrows together, trying to think. Was it before then? It was hard to remember. "I don't know," he admitted.

"Masaomi isn't telling the truth." Saki said, giving him her razorblade smile. "You remember when it was, don't you?"

He looked up at his ex-girlfriend. She was the only person he knew that could see straight through his lies and still be a modest human being about it.

"The threats started then," Kida says.

"Then...you know who raped you?"

Kida thought about it for a long time. It was true the rapist was masked, and that he had numerous dreams of different attacks, but if it was _him_. It all made sense.

"...Yes."

* * *

A/N: Don't forget to R&R! :)


	5. Love

Mikado sighed as he shoved his fork into the salad he made for dinner. He shoved the forkful in his mouth, chewing silently as he looked over at his best friend who was doing the same thing. Only, he wasn't taking actual bites. He was nibbling.

"Still don't have an appetite?" He asked gently, and Masaomi slowly shook his head. "You have to eat something," he urged.

"I _am_ eating." Kida argued with him, finally putting the whole piece of lettuce in his mouth.

Mikado smiled gently, he couldn't help but chuckle at his best friend. "Like a bird," He laughed loudly, grinning over at him once he heard Kida join in with his own bubbly laughter. It was like music to Mikado's ears to hear Masasomi laugh like that again.

"I'll show you a bird!" Masaomi said, putting a foot up on the table and stretching out his arms like a bird would before it flew off.

Mikado's eyes widen, hesitating the blonde's next moves. "M-Masaomi!" He fell backwards onto the floor once he felt Masaomi's weight on top of him.

Masasomi inwardly smiled when he heard Mikado's signature sigh for him. He wrapped his arms around Mikado. He was warm. It felt nice.

Mikado's eyebrow rose when he noticed Kida hadn't gotten up yet. "Masaomi?"

"Can I just-?" Masaomi started, but soon enough felt Mikado's arms wrap around his back gently. Mikado blushed, smiling into the blonde's neck as he felt Masaomi's nose tickling his. He smiled softly, rubbing Masaomi's back. "Sure."

He frowned once he felt the sleeve of his sweatshirt drown in a puddle of tears. "Masaomi," he whispered, but the other boy's only answer was a tighter grip on him.

–

Saki looked up as she heard the door to her room click open. She smiled as she heard the undeniable voice of her guardian purse through the room.

"Ah, Saki-chan~" Izaya greeted as he made his way over to the girl's bed, and took a seat on the edge. "How have you been?"

Saki shrugged, "Masaomi was here."

Izaya nodded, "I figured he would be. What did he say? Masaomi-kun always says something interesting to Saki-chan~ and never to me!" He faked a pout which brought a simple giggle to Saki's lips.

"He told me he was raped." Saki stated, looking up at the broker. "Izaya-san. You already knew, didn't you?"

"Yes, but Saki-chan – won't you tell me who it is?" Izaya smiled sweetly, while that devious glint hovered in his eyes.

Saki thought about it for a moment, before motioning the older man over with one finger to come closer. Izaya smiled in amusement as he stood up and leaned down to face her. She reached up and whispered the name in his ear.

Izaya wasn't too surprised when he heard the name. He had his suspicions, but he was definitely last on the list. "Really? It's […]?"

Saki nodded in response.

"Thank you, Saki-chan~" he said, reaching down to place a brotherly kiss on her cheek. "I must be going, but I'll stop by soon, okay~" he sang as he skipped out the room and pulled his phone from his pocket. He skipped down the hallway of the hospital as he pressed his speed dial.

"Oh, Transporter~ I've got our rapist~" he said, "your job can finally begin – and mine is just getting fun!" He cackled on the line, "Oh, and let's not tell Mikado about this, ne? We can make it a surprise!" He exclaimed before hanging up and skipping out the door.

–

Mikado laid on the futon with Masaomi still curled up in his arms. He took notice of his friend's breathing pattern, realizing his friend had fallen asleep on top of him. He blushed softly, moving a hand down to finger through the boy's golden locks.

"I still need to do the dishes," he sighed, absent-minded, while he pushed a loose strand of Masaomi's hair behind his ear. He smoothed the hair as he watched Masaomi sleep. It still didn't look like his friend was even at peace while he slept. His face twitched constantly from whatever dream invaded his mind at the moment.

Mikado paid close attention as he watched Masaomi's lips begin to smack in his sleep. He knew that Masaomi had always talked in his sleep ever since he was a little kid. It was something he noticed about their sleepovers back in Saitama. Back then, it was mostly about girls or his parents. He didn't really understand much of it back then.

He felt Masaomi grip onto a part of his shirt tightly. He looked down at the blonde, watching his face contort into something that reflected fear. "Ma-" he began softly before he stopped. He knew it was wrong, but he heard that people that talk in their sleep often reveal the truth or their deepest problems. He knew it was wrong to learn things about his best friend this way, but he was still a little irked that Masaomi could tell his ex-girlfriend and not his best friend. Mikado got it. Their relationship was held on a more personal level, and he didn't really know Saki enough to judge her character. He sighed softly.

"Shut up," Masaomi said, his arms gripping around Mikado's waist. He pushed his face into Mikado's neck, sighing softly, shifting in his sleep before going silent for a moment again.

"Who are you talking to, Masaomi?" Mikado urged.

"You can't have him." Masaomi replied.

Mikado frowned, "can't have who, Masaomi?"

"He doesn't love you."

Mikado sighed, this was a lot harder than it looked. "Who, Masaomi? Who is it they can't have?"

"...Mikado."

Mikado tensed, staring down at Masaomi. He wasn't sure if the teenager had actually woken up, or if he was answering the question. Once he saw the rising and falling of Masaomi's chest, he figured it was the latter.

"Who can't have me?" He asked, his fingers still running through the dyed hair. He watched Masaomi frown. He waited a few minutes. "Not even your subconscious wants me to know who hurt you," he sighed. "Why can't they have me, Masaomi?"

"Because..." Masaomi started, and Mikado was surprised at such a quick response which really made him question of his friend was actually sleeping or not.

"Because...?" Mikado urged Masaomi to continue.

"Because...I love Mikado."

–

_Kida's Dream_

"_Why do you keep coming back?" the boy asked. "Didn't I run you out of town last time?" He looked over at Kida, smiling sweetly. "Kida-sempai should get out of town and not come back." he grinned mischeviously, moving forward to the blonde who was up against a wall, his hands already tied and bound, but being held by two older boys. _

_He smirked, reaching up and ripping the bandage off of Kida's mouth. "Have something to say, Kida-sempai?" _

_Kida growled, glaring darkly at the younger boy. "Fuck you, Aoba." _

_Aoba frowned, "that's not very polite, Kida-sempai. Didn't Mikado-sempai teach you any manners?" He asked, reaching up and gripping his chin, grinning cheekily. _

"_Fuck off," Kida spat in his face. _

_Aoba's eyes went wide at the saliva trailing down his face and snapped his fingers and the other gang members dropped Kida to the ground. "You'll regret that, Masaomi Kida." _

–

Celty sighed inwardly, and typed on her phone. /Are you sure he's even coming? What kind of rapist would come on an anonymous text message?/

Izaya smirked, leaning off the wall, "have patience, Transporter. He'll come~" He waltzed over to the middle of the alleyway, looking down the opening. He grinned once he saw a shadow appear in the front of the alleyway. "No one said rapists were smart." He said, looking over his shoulder at her. "You stay here until I give you the signal. I'll put the 'scare' into him, as Mikado-kun suggested~" He said, before walking down the alleyway.

"It's been a while, Kuronuma Aoba." Izaya greeted, looking over at the boy.

–

_Aoba hovered over the blonde's body as he was tied down to a couch in an abandoned warehouse out in the middle of nowhere. Aoba's grin was like venom, spreading all the way across his face and what felt like Kida's soul. He pulled the familiar shark mask over his face. "See? It's just like I'm Mikado," he said. _

"_Isn't this what you want? You want Mikado to fuck you?" He teased, "this is how you first met him when you came back to Ikebukero, right, Masaomi?" He asked gently. The voice seemed to ring loudly in Kida's ears. _

_Aoba grinned wickedly at the facial expression he was getting. "Masaomi~" he purred through the mask as he moved his hand down to Masaomi's crotch which to Masaomi's much disappointment was sickeningly hardening around Aoba's grip. _

_He pulled down Masaomi's pants, leaving the boy exposed. He pushed one finger into Kida's entrance slowly,it was painful, but it was gentle. He pushed another finger into Kida, pumping them in and out at a slow rhythm. _

_Kida's face flushed, and his vision had seemed to blur every now and then during the attack. He lost his words. His vision went white as he felt Aoba fill him, arching his back at the feel. "Ah-hh," he gasped, he was beginning to feel warm and the sensations coarsing through him weren't helping. Everytime he blinked he felt like he was about to fall into a deep sleep at any minute. _

_Aoba's coos, purrs, and sweet talk were clear as day though. "Masaomi. Why did you leave me?" Aoba smirked, saying it as gentle and worrisome as Mikado would have. _

"_I...ahh," Kida's eyelids felt heavy, only snapping back open when Aoba would ram himself back into him. Kida squinted his eyes up at the figure above him. He was wearing a mask – Mikado's mask. Mikado's shark mask. No one else had that mask. _

"_Mi-Mikado," he forced himself to finally say, panting, and sweating. He wasn't sure if it was from what was happening or if he was getting ill. _

"_Yes, Masaomi?" Aoba answered him, grinning under the mask. _

"_Wh-why?" Masaomi asked softly. "We...hnng," he paused, gulping at the sudden slowness from the other boy. "We...we don't have to do it like this. I...don't want to do it like this." He said softly, his face was going numb – he didn't even notice the tears rolling down his face. "I..ha...love you, Mikado." _

"_Why?" Aoba hissed, and once he got a small nod, he frowned. "Masaomi," he said sweetly. "I hate you." He said, pushing into him one last time before pulling out and disposing of the evidence. He pulled his pants back up, and stared down at the passed out blonde. _

"_Hmph, someone will find you." He said, untying the binds and walked out of the empty warehouse. _

–

"You asked for me to come?" Aoba asked curiously, looking over at the informant.

Izaya grinned playfully and skipped over to the younger boy. "Yes," he said simply. "How are my sisters doing? Not that I really care. Just warming up the conversation~"

Aoba shrugged, "fine, I guess. The same." He sighed, "Izaya-san, what do you want?" He repeated as politely as he could.

"Well~ I just wanted to ask you a few questions." He admitted, "is that okay?"

Aoba nodded, looking over at him, quirking an eyebrow. "What's this about?"

"As I'm sure you might have heard from your sempai – or not~" he started, swaying next to Aoba and wrapped an arm around the boy. "Masaomi Kida has been raped – and believe it or not – I wasn't behind it!" Izaya laughed maniacally. He calmed down, seeing the boy still standing there – as calm as could be.

"That's terrible." Aoba pretended to sympathize, "I presume you're on the case then?"

Izaya grinned, "you always did catch on quick, Aoba-kun~" he said, looking over at him. "You don't know anything about this attack? Who might have been? I mean, I'm not saying the word on the street is it's you or anything~" he ranted, "but it would be a good way for the Blue Squares leader to make the Yellow Scarves leader shut up pretty quick, wouldn't it?" Izaya purred into Aoba's ear.

Aoba turned to stare into red orbs. "I didn't rape him," Aoba stated confidently, "go ask him."

Izaya sighed dramatically, "if it was that easy, Aoba-kun – I wouldn't be here to prod you with questions." He said.

Aoba shook his head as if Izaya didn't understand his statement, "go ask him if it was _me_," he restated his answer and this time Izaya rose an eyebrow. "You're really this confident?" Aoba nodded.

Izaya rose his hands, "fine then~" he said, "we'll meet again soon, Aoba-kun~" he said before waving Celty off. "Our work here is done, Transporter." He said, turning around and skipping off.

Celty frowned as she followed alongside Izaya on her bike. /I don't understand./

Izaya tilted his head at the message, "what don't you understand?" he asked, grinning.

/I thought you sent him an anonymous message about he was the rapist. And that's why he came./

Izaya laughed at the response and Celty seemed turn off by his amusement. "Do you really think a rapist would've came if I said, 'hey, I heard you raped Masaomi Kida – come or else' or some other cliché anime response?" He smirked.

/But you said-!/

"I lied," Izaya replied. "Aoba is in my contacts. He's good friends with my little sisters. I simply asked him if he would come to talk."

Celty tilted her helmet, not understanding. /So...you had no idea if it was actually him or not?/

"Nope~!" Izaya smirked, "but we have to eliminate every possible person that has ever been involved in Kida-kun's life, or even...the one he loves, right?" He grinned.

* * *

A/N: Don't forget to R&R! :)


	6. Pain

Mikado sighed as he waited outside Izaya's apartment. He didn't understand why the man called at such an odd hour. Masaomi had still been sleeping so he moved Masaomi over to his futon and left him a note.

He leaned against the wall, waiting for the informant's welcome. Izaya came bouncing down the hallway, grinning like a madman. "Ah, Mikado-kun~ I may have gotten some interesting information for you~" he said excitedly, opening the door to his apartment and hanging up his coat, sliding off his shoes.

Mikado followed cautiously behind him, only being here a few times. It looked quite normal, even if it was the insane broker's living space. "About Masaomi?"

Izaya grinned, back still turned to the dark-haired boy. "Mikado-kun~" he started, "what do you think Masaomi loves most in this world?"

Mikado blushed brightly at the comment, reliving Masaomi's slumber confession. He gulped, "uh...girls?" he said nervously.

Izaya laughed at the comment, turning around to face the blue-eyed boy. "You," his grin spread across his face as he noticed Mikado's nervous stance. "Now, you're a smart boy~" he began, "so...you would know that Masaomi seems to be a very emotionally-challenged person, right?" He said, before continuing. "I mean, his parents leave him because he's rebelling. He's on his own. Do they even really _care _anymore? Do they even really _love _him?" He states, "so...even if he gives off a facade about how he is the most confident, happiest boy in the world. He's still hurting. He's still hurting because the people who gave him life – are now gone. They've run off and it's his fault."

Mikado frowned, not knowing how long this tirade would go on for Izaya, but he listened intently. Anything this man could say would have a point to the subject at hand.

"He starts a gang to get a sense of comfort. A _family_. One he started on_ his _own. It was his family. Meet yours truly. I provide him with a girlfriend. He seems to have everything now. His own family. His own love. _I _am become the current role model in his life. However, it's not really my style – so I ruin everything, leaking information to the Blue Squares for fun~" he says.

"Now, he leaves his gang. His girlfriend is in the hospital. The one role model in his life since his parents left is a terrible person, and that just leaves one person to rely on," Izaya turned to face Mikado, "his lonely, conserved, childhood friend back in Saitama~" He smirked, "only to find out that his quiet, conserved little friend to be a gang leader of one of the biggest groups in Ikebukero."

Mikado sighed heavily, getting tired of the broker's seemingly endless rant. "What is your point?"

Izaya smiled playfully, "I hoped you would ask~" he said. "His parents abandon him, but he still calls and visits and keeps in touch. I ruin his life, he ends up working for me. You're both involved in one of the biggest gang fights in the city and you're still friends. He associates pain with love, therefore~"

Mikado's eyes went wide, "he loves his rapist," he concludes in realization, "but you just said-"

"he loves you," Izaya finished. "I did," he said simply.

Mikado frowned, narrowing his blue eyes into dancing red ones. "What are you implying?"

"I'm not implying anything~" Izaya said smoothly, smiling over at him. Mikado frowned in response. Izaya chuckled softly, "quite defensive, aren't we, Mikado-kun~"

Mikado clenched his teeth together, forming a fist at his side. "You would be the rapist before I ever would," he spat, glaring darkly up at the informant.

"Oooh~ strong words. I have an idea~!" Izaya said, seeming unphased by the whole accusation. "Why don't we just go ask Masaomi-kun who raped him?"

"He wouldn't tell us at the therapists office, why would he tell us now?" Mikado frowned.

"Yes, well, we didn't ask him specifics. We just asked the basics. Why don't we go ask if you raped him, or if I did~ but I'm really not worried about myself since I know _I_ didn't do it."

"...Fine."

Masaomi woke up on the futon. He blinked his eyes open, looking around the familiar room he'd been living in for a couple of months. "Mikado?" He asked, sitting up. He frowned when he didn't get a immediate response. He slowly stood up from the futon, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "Mikado?" He tried again, and noticed a note on his friend's desktop.

_Masaomi, _

_I went out to get a few things. I'll be back soon. _

_Love_

_-Mikado._

Masaomi tilted his head at the word that had seemed to be scratched out, frowning slightly. He sighed heavily, holding his head. It was pounding. He had that dream again. It was an awful, re-occuring dream of Mikado raping him. Did that really happen? He...he wouldn't. Would he?

He sighed, moving into the bathroom to get some aspirin, and filled the cup by the sink up with water. When he came back to Ikebukero, Masaomi had hoped things would go back to the way they were. He would still meet up with Mikado, tease him about not confessing to Anri yet, flirt with Anri, play video games with Mikado, drag him along with his skirt-chasing escapades. Maybe it was hopeful wishing on Masaomi's part. Nothing ever stays the same. Life moves on whether you run away from it or not.

When Masaomi finally returned, he saw a side of Mikado he hadn't seen before. He ran a hand through his blonde locks, before pulling out two pills and threw them back in his mouth, downing the water and pills.

Pills.

Masaomi stared hard at the orange bottle in front of him. It would end this pain. He wouldn't need to love so he wouldn't feel any pain. He wouldn't feel any pain because he wouldn't need to love.

He quickly rummaged rummaged through the cabinet and pulled out any pills he could find. He mixed a fistful of them into his hand. His breathing became shaky, "I don't want to hurt anymore." he said, throwing his head back and swallowing the pills.

* * *

A/N: Don't forget to R&R! :)


	7. Secret

–

Mikado always found it awkward walking with the informant. He was just a creepy guy. He wasn't all bad though, he did want to help Masaomi. Hopefully. Did he? Mikado was paying him so he could just be doing it for the money – but something told him that Izaya would've involved himself in some way whether Mikado was paying the broker or not.

"Masaomi. It's just me." He called through the door, jiggling the key into the lock.

"He's eery of his rapist coming in?" Izaya asked.

"Oh, and Izaya-san." Mikado replied, opening the door. He rose an eyebrow, not seeing Masaomi on the futon. "Masaomi? Where are you?" He called.

Izaya invited himself in, glancing around the tiny apartment. He smirked, seeing the sticky note that he left for the blonde. He took it off the screen, reading it, before putting it in his pocket.

"MASAOMI!" Mikado screamed in panic, kneeling down quickly to the blonde who had passed out on the bathroom floor. "Masaomi!" He shook the boy, seeing the empty capsules on the floor. He gulped, as he fumbled for his cell phone. "Izaya-san!" He yelled, "Call the hospital!"

Izaya blinked, walking in the bathroom, "Why-" he stopped as he scanned the bathroom, noticing many empty pill bottles unscrewed. "On it," he said, dialing the hospital.

Mikado looked down at his best friend, worriedly. "Oh god," He whispered, holding Masaomi in his arms. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Why couldn't I take better care of you? Why did I leave you alone?" He felt tears fall down his face, "Masaomi, I love you." He told the unconscious boy.

–

Masaomi was greeted with white walls as his eyes flickered open. He heard the soft beeping beside him. He moved to shift his body, before he was startled with a familiar voice.

"Don't force yourself to move!" Mikado replied frantically as he rushed to the bedside. "They just medicated you."

"Med..it..cated...?" Masaomi asked, reaching up to rub his head as sitting up had made him a little air-headed and woozy.

Mikado looked up at the blonde worriedly, "Masaomi – you overdosed on whatever pills you could find." He said softly, looking up at the blonde. "...Why?"

Masaomi frowned, turning to look away as he found a small piece of his blanket much more fascinating than looking his best friend in the eye and telling him why.

"Kida-kun~"

Masaomi's body tensed as he slowly turned his head to face the god foresaken informant that was sitting in the chair next to the one that Mikado had jumped out of.

"Just a few questions~" Izaya said, smiling playfully over at the two teenagers. "You told Saki-chan who raped you, did you not?"

Masaomi's eyes quivered with fear as he looked up into red ones. He slowly nodded his head as he gripped onto a piece of fabric.

"Kida-kun~" Izaya started, "you've said your rapist was masked?"

Masaomi pursed his lips tightly, no matter how many times he wanted to lie or not say anything to this informant, he couldn't stop from letting the truth spill out once he was under those red eyes. "...Yes." He said softly.

"Do you remember how...tall you might say he was?" He asked, as he stood up from his chair, stuffing his hands in his pockets, casually making his way over to the bedside and standing next to Mikado. "Would you say he was my height?"

Kida shook his head, "N-no. He was probably around...our height." He motioned to himself and Mikado, "maybe a bit shorter...I don't really remember." He said.

"Do you...remember anything about this mask? Any particular features, the color, the style, the design?" Izaya asked, grinning down at the terrified blonde.

Kida finally tore his gaze away from the broker, staring back down at the spot he had taken interest in before. "N-no. I don't really remember. It was pretty dark." He said softly, pulling his knees up to his chest.

"Funny, how I have believed everything you said to me – up until now." Izaya leaned over the hospital bed, smiling over at the blonde. "Kida-kun~" he cooed. "Are you telling lies?"

"No!" Kida glared weakly up at the raven-haired man. "I just don't remember," he muttered, resting his head on his arms, staring out the window. He jumped slightly when he felt a hand on his shoulder touch him gently.

"Masaomi..." Mikado said gently, another hand taking Masaomi's into his own. "Why did you try to kill yourself?"

Masaomi looked up into worried blue eyes, frowning. "I didn't want to hurt anymore..." he told him, "all I do is hurt, all I feel is hurt, I want to be numb, but I can't – I just...can't." He said.

Mikado pulled on Kida's hand so his body shifted towards him and he curved his head, leaning to place his lips upon Kida's. Kida pulled back just as quickly as he was pulled in, looking over at Mikado with wide eyes.

"Masaomi..." Mikado blushed furiously, pulling back. "I-I'm sorry!" He said, taking a few steps back. "I'll...I'll get us something to drink!" He said, moving quickly out of the hospital room.

Masaomi stared up at the elder man, chewing on the inside of his cheek nervously. This man kept him on edge – and he didn't want any more people getting hurt. He looked up at the man once he heard a chuckle coarse through the room.

Izaya smirked, "One more question, Kida-kun and I'll leave~." He promised, looking over at the blonde. "Did Aoba Kuronuma attack you?"

Kida frowned, shaking his head, "I don't know..." he said. He watched the man's face turn into something that looked contemplative. He watched the informant shrug, and smile happily – like he didn't just ask a serious question or that he was in a hospital.

"Okay then~!" Izaya said, "I'll see you soon then~." He said, skipping out of the hospital room.

Kida sighed heavily as he leaned back into his bed, closing his eyes, as he gripped his head that was now ringing and the beeping next to him was not making it any better. He covered his face, feeling his eyes threatening to water as one simple sentence ran through his head over and over again.

"_Tell anyone and Mikado is next."_

* * *

A/N: Don't forget to R&R! :)


	8. Diagnosis of Love

–

"I'm back!" Mikado said, moving back into the small room with three cans of soda in his hands, handing one to Masaomi, before looking around. "Where'd Orihara-san go?"

Kida shrugged, "he left." He said, cupping his hands around the metallic can. He let the cool substance flow through his hands as he stared down at the soda.

"Masaomi.." Mikado started, and he watched golden eyes move to him. "Why...?" He asked softly, "Have I...not made you feel safe enough?" He asked, lowering his head. He couldn't help, but feel like this was his fault. Some days, Masaomi was fine, nearly back to himself again – other days, he was like this, he didn't say anything and was almost like a stranger.

Masaomi frowned, moving to snap the the cap open. "It's not your job to make sure I feel safe," he murmured.

Mikado gripped his hands around the can, frowning in response. "Yes, it is." He argued, "you're my best friend."

"A man shouldn't need to be protected," Kida said firmly and it was in a tone that meant he wasn't arguing his part any further and this discussion was coming to an abrupt end. Mikado could understand why being a male rape victim was embarrassing. He wasn't the most emasculate person around either, but he knew that Kida had way too much pride in himself to admit that him getting raped had nothing to do with his strength.

"About that kiss before..." Mikado started, and watched golden eyes lock onto his. He forced a weak smile and reached his arm over to scratch the back of his head. He took a deep breath, and was almost waiting for Kida to respond with some stupid sexual remark, but no, the eery silence was still present and he almost wished Kida had _something _at least Kida-esque, but given the situation he knew he would have to be the one to come forward this time.

"I think I'm in love with you." Mikado blabbed, and his face turned red, looking straight ahead now, cursing his feet to stay planted onto the ground, his mind swirling about how maybe he should just turn and run now or apologize profusely, saying it was a joke or some kind. Yeah, confess your feelings to your best friend who is a rape victim and then tell him a joke. How romantic.

To his surprise, a chuckle escaped the blonde's lips, and Mikado focused on the teenager in front of him.

"You look like you're constipated when you think too hard." Masaomi laughed, and it hurt to be laughing like that, but it was true, and for once he felt _good_, like he was safe.

Mikado blinked, dumbfounded. He stared over at his best friend who was now holding his waist from laughing so hard. He smiled softly over at the blonde, and he could almost feel the room brimming with energy solely because Kida was in it. Like how it used to be.

Then he remembered about what Masaomi was laughing about, and his cheeks flushed from embarrassment. "Well?" Mikado asked nervously.

Masaomi looked up, forcing a weak smile after what felt like a lifetime of frowning. "Obviously, most people do." He forced a laugh.

Mikado blinked, something seemed dark about that sentence. Did he mean he thought his attacker forced his love upon him? He took a seat in the chair next to the bedside, and placed a hand on top of Masaomi's. "Most people love you with respect, and wouldn't want anything harmful to happen to you – physically or emotionally, Masaomi." He replied, staring down the blonde's hand. "Like Saki...and Sonohora-san.."

"...and you?" Masaomi asked as he also stared down at their hands moving against each other.

Mikado smiled down, moving his hand under Masaomi's and his breath hitched when he linked their fingers together. "Yeah...and me." He said, looking up at the blonde. "A lot of me feels that way," he admitted.

This time Masaomi dipped his head down and placed his lips against the raven's. Mikado was a little hesitant to kiss back so quickly because he didn't want to make it seem too familiar to Masaomi's recent experience, but _damn_, was the kid a good kisser. Masaomi seemed to surprise him even further when he opened his mouth to deepen the kiss. Mikado swore he stopped breathing for a minute as he widened his mouth against Kida's as well.

"Ahem," a voice that didn't belong to either of them sounded into the room. They both pulled away from each other and looked away as their faces burned.

"Sorry to interrupt," a man in a white labcoat, holding a clipboard of papers smiled genuinely, and alongside the man was a man in what seemed like a business suit, with black-rimmed glasses. "Can we speak to Masaomi privately for a moment?"

Mikado was about to nod, before he felt a hand link around his arm like a death grip, and he turned around to see Masaomi looking over at him with frightened eyes. "Please stay," he said softly, and Mikado frowned. One minute he was back to his old self, and the next, he was this stranger that had come into his life recently.

"Masaomi-kun, this is my friend, Dr. Wong, he's going to ask you some pretty personal questions and the answers you may say may be different or affected because you have a guest here." The doctor replied.

"I don't want him to leave!" Masaomi argued, beginning to breathe heavily, and he noticed that the new doctor was scribbling down some notes on his clipboard already and it clicked. "He's a psychologist, isn't he?"

"Yes, Masaomi-kun. He just wants to ask you a few questions is all. We are not saying you are crazy, but because of the situation you have been through recently – we feel it's best to ask you some questions and it's a known fact that victims usually keep stuff locked away when friends are present in order for them not to worry."

"I don't want to tell anyone, anything." Masaomi muttered under his breath.

"Masaomi.." Mikado squeezed Masaomi's hand, "you're going to have to tell someone sometime. They aren't trying to tell you you're crazy. They just want you to feel better." Mikado reassured him, "please. Do it for me?"

"There's nothing wrong with me," Kida argued.

"Not physically...but Masaomi...you tried to kill yourself. You need to let something out." He urged, reaching up to brush a hand through the blonde's hair. "I'll be in the waiting room. Can you tell me when you're done?" He turned to the doctors, smiling weakly.

"Of course," Dr. Wong smiled, and nodded. "Thank you for being so cooperative."

Mikado nodded, "I'll be right back," he whispered, moving his arms around the boy's waist, and quickly placed a kiss on Masaomi's cheeks even though the doctors couldn't see it, pulling back and moving out of the hospital room.

–

It seemed like forever before he saw the main doctor walk out into the lobby and smile over at Mikado, motioning for him to walk over.

"Is everything alright?" Mikado asked worriedly.

"We've diagnosed Masaomi as bipolar. Dr. Wong is now prescribing medicine. It seems that whatever has happened in the incident, or his past has pushed him to the point to actually become this way. It's nothing to be ashamed of and is a very common trait, but mentally-diagnosed patients do need a lot of love and support from those around them to realize this."

Mikado just stood there, shocked and speechless as the doctor went on about how the medicine might affect Kida in the beginning. That...bastard hurt Kida this bad? Mikado pursed his lips, and tightened a fist to his side.

This meant war.

* * *

A/N: Don't forget to R&R! :)


	9. Because of You

–

Masaomi was more or less the same as he was when he came home for the hospital, figuring Masaomi was already going through his bipolar moods before he tried to kill himself and for that, at least, Mikado was grateful as he already knew how to take care of Masaomi in his moods – but after that last scare – he had to keep, an extra, extra eye on him which meant he couldn't take his free time to figure out who Masaomi's rapist was because he had to make sure Masaomi wasn't doing anything reckless.

"I'm bored," Masaomi groaned after the credits of the fourth movie they watched for the day rolled on the screen.

"Well, what do you want to do?" Mikado asked, pointing his remote to the DVD player, turning it off.

Masaomi smirked, and leaned over Mikado, "I've got a few ideas," he purred, locking their lips together. Mikado let his eyes flutter close, pulling on Masaomi's arm to pull him in his lap. He knew it wasn't natural for Masaomi to be kissing so willingly after his case – but he couldn't tear himself apart from the blonde. He wanted to let Masaomi know he was loved, and like he said before, he was a damn good kisser.

Masaomi relaxed in Mikado's lap, straddling against him. He opened his mouth, pushing his tongue against the raven's lips, wanting entrance which was quickly granted. They both moaned in unison as their tongues massaged each other.

Mikado pulled back from the kiss once he felt Masaomi's hands wander down to unbuttoning his shirt. He stared up at the blonde with wide eyes, "Masaomi – you don't have to-"

"I want to," he argued. "Don't you want it too?" Masaomi asked.

Mikado swallowed, looking up at his best friend. His face seemed to be confident enough, but he locked his eyes onto golden ones which seemed to be quivering and fearful of what might happen. "Masaomi..." he stated softly, reaching down and pulled his hands away from his shirt and into his own hands. He noticed Masaomi was giving him a baffled and almost offended look.

Mikado smiled geniunenly, reaching down to kiss the clasped hands. He used a hand to caress Masaomi's cheek. "You don't need to prove you love me."

Masaomi frowned, glaring softly down at the boy, "I'm not. I _want_ to." He forced, moving to kiss his neck and the hand was back to Mikado's shirt, moving to undo the second button.

Mikado frowned as he noticed the shakiness of the blonde. "You're shaking, Masaomi."

"I'm just nervous because it's you," Masaomi mumbled against Mikado's neck, his face burning red from the embarrassment.

Mikado blushed softly at the comment, reaching down and placing a hand over Masaomi's, steadying it as he helped him with the next button. Once they reached the last button, he shook off his shirt. He watched Masaomi place his lips over his pink nub, breathing a bit irregularly from what Mikado gained was from his nerves. Mikado reached down and ran a hand through blonde locks, leaning into the back of the futon. He gasped once he felt Masaomi's hand groping his jeans, and he unintentionally released a moan.

Mikado wanted to help his friend out also, so he reached over to unzip the blonde's jeans but unexpectedly, Masaomi moved away from the hand quickly. Mikado sat up on the futon and he watched Masaomi pull back as well. "What's wrong?" He asked.

Mikado smiled weakly, "why don't we do this later?" He said.

"But you're-" Masaomi pointed to the raven's jeans only to be dismissed by a hand.

"I'll take care of it." Mikado smiled, kissing Masaomi on the cheek. "Why don't you go make us dinner?" He asked. Mikado realized giving Masaomi responsibilities slowly got him back on his feet and made him feel human again.

Masaomi nodded, standing up from the futon. "What do you want?"

Mikado stood up as well, shifting his pants to make his way to the bathroom. "Surprise me?" He said, closing the door behind him to take care of his problem.

Masaomi moved into the kitchen, shuffling through the cupboards to make some pasta. He sighed softly as he poured the pasta into the boiling water, before noticing his medicine out of his peripheral vision. He frowned, glaring down at the bottle, he pulled one capsule out before closing it and throwing the rest of the bottle in the trash.

There was nothing wrong with him.

–

"Tea?" Izaya asked, placing a tea tray on the table in the living room. He smiled over at the young boy, "Now, Aoba-kun. I don't like when people lie to me. Sure, it makes the person more interesting and hell, I lie all the time – but it's a lot different when someone lies to you, personally." He started, "now, I know it's you – and for whatever reason, Kida-kun is either too scared to accuse you or he's protecting you. Now, which one is it?"

Aoba sat straight up in the seat as he faced the informant. He smiled politely, "I told you Izaya-san. It wasn't me."

Izaya returned the smile maliciously. "Aoba-kun, I know you're smarter than this. Didn't I just say I don't like being lied to?" He said, "I know my toys – and I like to keep a special eye on my favorites as you know – most people do not share their favorite toys."

"Have you asked Masaomi-sempai if I had raped him yet?" Aoba looked up at the raven.

"Of course I have, Aoba-kun. I wouldn't have called you back here just to hear you repeat the same information over again." Izaya told him, "the thing is – I know Masaomi Kida like the back of my hand. I'm the one who flipped him upside down and turned him into this twisted kid to the point where I can almost read every facial expression of his, know what it means, and tell him the harsh truth to whatever his problem is that day." Izaya leaned in closer to the blue-haired boy as he talked, "but for some reason – I can't tell this time. What I can tell – is when he's lying, and when most people lie – they don't look that person in the eye."

"And, when you asked if it was me – he didn't look you in the eye? What was his answer?"

"He said no, of course. Like most rape victims would. They're too scared that if they admit their rapist – that they will come back for revenge, and some do." He stated, "Now, you are the leader of the Blue Squares – so, you generally don't really need to have any other reason to get revenge upon Kida-kun as your gangs are rivals already."

Izaya stood up from the couch, moving over to the chair that Aoba was placed in. He leaned over the chair, arms folded on top. "Unless~ there was something else of his that you wanted but...what could that be?" Izaya cooed, "what else could you two possibly have in common besides your gangs, hm~?" He placed his hands on the younger boy's shoulders which made the younger man startle from the touch. "Well...?"

Aoba cleared his throat, and pulled himself out from under his informant's hands. "I'm not sure. Kida-sempai and I have only met in gang fights. I don't know him all that well personally."

Izaya frowned, moving around the chair and sitting down on the edge of his coffee table to face him. He rested his head on his hand, eyes glinting. "You've never met Kida-kun through Mikado?"

Aoba frowned, staring up at Izaya, "He's talked about him."

"Funny you've never met outside your fights because...I distinctly remember sending dear Kida-kun on many jobs that involved Ikebukero, and even times when I had him go to Raira. You've never met him pesonally? I'm sure his personality is something you'd remember."

"I've only seen him between greetings and farewells, nothing in between." Aoba answered.

"But you agree that Mikado is also something that you, and Kida-kun have in common besides your gangs?"

"I suppose so." Aoba sighed, looking up at the clock.

"Keeping you from something?" Izaya pressed. "Maybe from planning another attack on a poor, innocent victim in the Yellow Scarves?"

Aoba frowned, "I have a school meeting I'm supposed to be attending, and yes, you are keeping me from it." He said, standing up to brush off his pants. "If you're so persistent on it being the leader of the Blue Squares, Orihara-san – may I remind you that I was not the only leader." He replied, moving to slip on his shoes at the door. "Now, if you'll excuse me. Thank you for the tea." He said, bowing slightly before closing the door behind him.

* * *

A/N: Don't forget to R&R! :)


	10. Is That Just the Crazy Talking?

A/N: Sorry about the long hiatus! Hope this is worth the wait!

* * *

Mikado walked out of the bathroom, smiling as he saw the blonde had already set the table with dinner. Masaomi was always good with making pasta. He even complimented it with some soup. He sat down at the other end of the table from where Masaomi was sitting. "It looks good," he complimented as he picked up his spoon, swirling the soup around.

Masaomi had already begun eating and the dining table was quiet as always. Mikado swallowed his soup, looking up at the clock and over to Masaomi. "Have you taken your medicine yet?"

Masaomi forced a smile, holding up the small capsule he took from the bottle and dropped it in his drink, gulping it down.

Mikado smiled. Good. At least he was willing to take his medicine. He would do some more research on the boy's condition once Masaomi fell asleep for the night. He couldn't let anything fool him this time. He needed to keep Masaomi safe. "Where did you put the rest of your medicine?" If he wasn't so busy eating his supper, he would've noticed the small pause in Masaomi's body language before it went back to normal. He looked up from his plate to stare over at the blonde, waiting for an answer. "Masaomi?"

"It's in a safe place," Kida said, forcing a smile.

Mikado's eyebrow ticked at that response. "_Where_?"

Masaomi shifted in his seat, he was always quick with his responses, but of course when he needed a lie the most, he struggled to think of a place of where he "put the pills." He was distracted from his thoughts when Mikado stood up from the table and started to walk towards the trash can.

Masaomi jolted up from his seat and moved in front of his best friend.

"Masaomi, you're making this too obvious." Mikado replied, and couldn't help but be a bit amused by the blonde's cliché moves. Mikado moved past his friend, reaching into the trash and grabbing the small bottle between his fingers. "Masaomi...this will help you." He urged, grabbing Masaomi's hand, flipping it over, beginning to place it in his palm before Masaomi smacked it to the floor, causing the cap to pop off and spread the pills everywhere on the floor.

"MASAOMI!" Mikado stared at the gang leader with wide eyes. "What the hell was that about?"

"...Do you think I'm crazy?"

"What? Masaomi. The medicine isn't about that – its just to hel-"

"ANSWER ME!" Masaomi yelled, his fists balled at his sides.

Mikado pursed his lips, "...no."

"Then why are you making me take these crazy pills?" He snarled softly, looking up at the raven.

Mikado sighed, "Masaomi..." he started softly, moving in to pull his friend into a hug, pulling back, placing a hand on his cheek. "Someone took advantage of you, and hurt you," he said, staring up into golden eyes. "I don't know why anyone would – but they _really_ hurt you and _they_ are the ones that made you this way. None of this is your fault." He said, pressing their foreheads together, giving him a small smile. "Okay?" He said.

Masaomi backed away from Mikado, lowering his head.

"What's wrong?" Mikado asked curiously, knitting his brows together in confusion.

"I..." Kida choked, feeling a lump growing in his throat. "I want you to call off Izaya and the Black Rider on my rape case."

Mikado frowned, "Masaomi – where is this...coming from all of a sudden?"

"I don't want you to get hurt."

Mikado cocked an eyebrow, "Masaomi – I won't get hurt. This has nothing to do with me-"

"YES IT DOES!" Masaomi yelled suddenly, before deciding that the wall next to him was a much more interesting place to look than facing Mikado straight on.

"I need to know what happened to you – who twisted and turned you into this shaken person." Mikado stared up at the blonde, taking a step towards him and watched Kida take a step back. "Masaomi, stop." He said, reaching down, grabbing his friend's hand, pulling him closer to him. "No one is going to hurt me, and no one is going to hurt you." He smiled gently, before he narrowed his eyes up into golden ones. "I won't let it happen."

Mikado tilted his head once he noticed Kida's vision looking past his shoulder on the floor. He blinked, turning around. "Masaomi?" He questioned and watched the boy walk towards the corner where blue fabric was laying on the ground.

Masaomi bent down, unfolding the fabric to come face to face with an identical shark mask. He gasped, standing up quickly and taking a step back. He nearly jumped through the ceiling once he felt Mikado's hand on his shoulder, attempting to turn him around.

Masaomi turned to him, moving away from his grip. This wasn't happening. It couldn't have been Mikado – he had been so helpful and loving and even when they began to do things – he stopped, knowing Kida was nervous, but was this all just a sick game to Mikado or was it...who he first thought it was? Who he told Saki?

He looked up to face worried blue eyes. "I think I know who raped me," Masaomi replied softly, gulping. He was scared shitless to confess something like this to his best friend. All in all, Mikado was a good guy, but ever since he came back from leaving Ikebukero – he had seen a totally different side to his best friend, one that definitely acted before he thought.

"Are you ready to tell me?" Mikado asked gently, watching the blonde nod slowly, and his hands twitched into fists, eyes focused only on Masaomi and his words now.

This time – he would protect Masaomi.

Masaomi hadn't moved from where he stood, and the last physical movement he gave was the nod towards his best friend. He tensed for a moment, feeling Mikado's hand slip into his, pulling him to the futon to talk about it.

"Masaomi – are you sure you're ready? You don't want to tell anyone else before me?" Mikado asked, looking up at the blonde. Mikado's face wrinkled into a frown when he didn't hear Masaomi's immediate response. He stumbled back, almost tripping over his coffee table as Masaomi had crushed his lips against his own.

Mikado pulled back, obviously taken aback by his friend's actions. "Masaomi..." he stated softly.

"Do...do you love me?" Masaomi asked, staring up at him.

"Of course I do, you're my best frien-"

"You know what I mean!"

Mikado pursed his lips, taking a step towards Masaomi, their feet almost in a floor footsie, he moved a hand to slip into Masaomi's, staring into his best friend's eyes. He searched for any possible emotion that could be shown in those eyes. It was obvious Masaomi was trying to hold his intense gaze to get a serious response. "Yes," Mikado responded at last. "I'm in love with you, Masaomi," he whispered against Kida's lips before placing a kiss on top of his. He was baffled when he realized he hadn't left the kiss willingly and Kida's hand was placed against his chest – pushing him away. "Masaomi...?"

"Why are you doing this to me?" the blonde whispered, the hand resting on the anonymous leader's chest wrinkling the shirt he wore.

"Masaomi- what are you talking about?"

"Are..." Masaomi choked on his words, his ridiculously long bangs now falling in front of his face, staring at nothing in particular on the hardwood floor. "Are you still doing this?" he asked softly, moving away from the leader, shoving the blue fabric into his face.

"Masaomi, it's not what you thi-" the raven began to explain before he heard a few simple knocks at his door. He had watched the blonde's cautious eyes travel to the door as well. They stood silently for a while before two more knocks came.

"Mikado-sempai? Are you home?"

Mikado let out a sigh of relief, "It's just Aoba-kun." He reassured the blonde, moving over to the door to let his kouhai in. "Coming!" He called, opening the door. He greeted the blue-haired boy with a smile, "Aoba-kun, what are you doing here?"

Aoba bowed politely, "I know. It's late. I'm so sorry, Mikado-sempai, but I had some last minute questions for the carnival tomorrow."

"You couldn't have just texted me?" Mikado asked as he shut the door behind him after he let Aoba in. "I don't think now is a real good time, Aoba." He said, going to check back on Masaomi when he noticed that the blonde wasn't anywhere in sight to be found. "Shit," Mikado muttered under his breath.

Aoba blinked, "I-I'm sorry? Is everything alright, Mikado-sempai?" He asked, turning to the elder boy.

Mikado turned, distracted from trying to relocate the blonde. "Huh? Y-yes! Of course!" He chuckled nervously, "just let me get my notes and we can start talking about the preparations for the carnival-" Mikado reassured him. He moved to go check his room for Masaomi, stopping midway, noticing his friend was back in the room, with a pistol in hand, pointing at Aoba.

"MASAOMI! What the hell are you doing?" Mikado panicked. His mentally-diagnosed bipolar best friend was holding a fucking gun, pointing to his kouhai. "It's just Aoba!"

Kida's hands began to shake while his finger rested on the trigger of the gun. "I know who the fuck he is," he gritted his teeth. His eyes flashed back to Mikado, "Mikado – you love me, right?"

Mikado flushed at the sudden question – why would he ask that _now_? He wasn't sure what would happen if he responded negatively so he simply sufficed a nod.

"Then you'll let me shoot."

"Masaomi, no-"

"You don't love me."

"Masaomi, of course I do, put the gun down. Come on, I'll go in the kitchen with you to take your medicine."

Masaomi's grip on the gun tightened seeing Aoba's blue eyes flicker into his, letting out a low, amused chuckle that was loud enough to be heard, but not to bring too much attention. The last words the blonde even comprehended were:

"MASAOMI DON'T!"

_Bang._

* * *

A/N: Don't shoot! /bad pun. Don't forget to R&R! :)


	11. Let's Get Down to Business

A/N: I LIIVEEEEE.

* * *

Mikado wasn't sure what to think. It was like it all went too fast. He wasn't sure why he was laying on the floor in front of Aoba. All he really remembered was the shot from the gun, and the loud screech of his kouhai. The pistol hitting the floor making a nice thud was what brought the anonymous gang leader back to his senses.

It seemed like he moved in slow motion as he positioned himself to sit up. He looked down at his body, before turning around to find Aoba holding his right arm, watching the blood pour from out of him and attempting to unwrap his bandage around his new wound. He hissed as he tried to do so, noticing two hands take the bandage from him and wrap them around tightly. "Thanks, Mikado-sempai."

"Are you okay, Aoba-kun?" Mikado asked worriedly, looking up at the blue-haired boy.

"Yeah, I think so," he hissed. "The bullet just barely grazed against me, but it moved against my wound," he muttered, finishing tying the bandage around his hand.

"I better go find Masaomi," Mikado replied as he glanced around the apartment, only seeing the gun sitting on the floor where the ex-leader had been standing. "And, you better head home. We'll talk about the festival at school." He said, turning to the young student.

Aoba held back a sneer, irritated from the fact that Masaomi was still held higher than him. "Sempai," he started which caught the raven's attention. "You aren't going to let Masaomi keep living here with you, are you?" He asked.

Mikado rose an eyebrow, "Of course, I am. He's my best friend. I..." he trailed off, sighing softly, knowing flaunting Masasomi's love so publicly wasn't the best idea considering their situation.

"He's dangerous!" Aoba argued, feigning a worried look. "What if the next time you have another guest over, like Sonohora-san, and he gets jealous, pulling out the gun on her, or you, Sempai!"

Mikado smiled weakly, "I appreciate your concern, Aoba-kun, but Masaomi would never do something like that."

"Did you expect him to pull out a gun tonight?" Aoba frowned.

"Well, o-of course not!"  
"Then how do you know he won't do it again with someone else, or you?"

Mikado shrugged, "because...I just do. I trust Masaomi."

"Why?" Aoba asked, almost too quickly as noticed Mikado look at him skeptically. "I mean, after tonight, after everything, you still trust him? ...Why?"

"I just do," Mikado replied. "I don't really know what other reason to give other than that I have always trusted Masaomi."

Aoba pressed his lips together before he began to blow his cover, grabbing his backpack, and standing up. "I see," he forced a smile. "You're right, I should get back to home. I'll see you at school tomorrow, right?"

Mikado smiled, nodding, and waved to the blue-haired student before he watched the door close. He stood up to his feet quickly to go find the blonde. "Masaomi!" He called in the tiny apartment.

Mikado nearly fell backwards once he saw the blonde remove himself from the bathroom and run into his arms, crying. He looked down at Masaomi, baffled by the situation at hand. He slowly wrapped his arms around the blonde's waist. "Masaomi...?" He questioned, "What has gotten into you? You haven't been taken your medicine, have you?" Mikado frowned in disapproval.

Masaomi gripped onto the raven's shirt, as dry sobs escaped him, trying to talk between his hypervenilation. "I-it's not th-that," he gasped. He pulled a hand back and dug into his pocket for his phone, flipping through his messages before shoving the phone into Mikado's chest.

Mikado fumbled to keep the phone in his hand, before he stared down at the message.

_To: Orihara Izaya_  
_From: Kida_

_Please come over. Tell Mikado who hurt me. I know you know. _

Masaomi had reverted back into trusting Izaya, and had kept his promise to Aoba. He didn't tell anyone. If he didn't tell anyone, Mikado wouldn't get hurt. It was the only thing he felt he could do.

Mikado stared at the taller teen that hunched below him, wide-eyed. "Masaomi! Just tell me who hurt you. We don't have to bring Orihara-san over here. I know you don't want that. Masaomi, just tell me."

Masaomi's gasps were getting more severe as he pushed his head against Mikado's chest, shaking it. "I-I ca-han't."

"Yes, you can." Mikado urged. "Trust me."

"You'll get hurt!" He argued.

"What do you mean by that, Masaomi?"

"You'll get hurt. You'll get hurt. You'll get hurt. You'll get hurt." Masaomi mumbled as if it was a chant against his best friend. "You'll get hurt. You'll get hurt. You'll get hurt."

Mikado sighed, lifting Masaomi up from under him. "Calm down, Masaomi. Let's get you some water." He said, grabbing the blonde's hand before moving into the small kitchen. He watched Masaomi pace in a circle while he poured the man a glass of water, and opened the capsule that still had a few pills left in it and dropped it into the water. He handed the glass to Masaomi, already tipping the drink up to his lips. "Drink."

Masaomi chugged down the water, anything to get his throat hydrated again, slamming down the empty glass that seemed to satisfy the raven. Mikado smiled up at him, cupping his cheek. "Better?"

Masaomi gave a small nod, "Y-yeah. A little." He said, before he was pulled into a kiss from Mikado. Masaomi caved into the kiss, and moved his hand down to grope the smaller man's bottom which earned him a squeak and a slap against his arm.

"Masaomi!" Mikado scolded, his face turning red at such harassment, pulling back in the teenager's arms.

"Sorry, I'm an ass man." Masaomi apologized, smiling weakly before they both heard the door click open and stood face to face with the familiar informant.

"Sorry to break up this adorable, little scene here but I got a house call~" Izaya smirked, looking over at the two.

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A/N: Don't forget to R&R! :)


	12. Guessing Games

A/N: Enjoy!

* * *

It was safe to say that getting comfortable in the situation they were into now was more than awkward. Izaya took a seat across from the coffee table placed in Mikado's apartment while Masaomi leaned against the said-raven, a death grip nearly on his sleeve with Mikado looking up at the informant with a dark expression.

"Oh~ What's that look for, Ryuugamine-kun?" Izaya prompted, smirk tugging at his lips.

"Why are you putting him through this torture? It's been this long and even voicing the name of the person that both you know is going to tear him apart. He's not ready." Mikado frowned, a hand slipping between the blonde's fingers and holding their hands together under the table.

Izaya grinned, noticing the movement of the arms. "Mikado, Mikado, Mikado~" He started, "I'm just trying to help my dear friend Masaomi out. I don't want him in this pain as much as you do, but do you really think having him bottle it up and not tell anyone about this incident is a better idea?" He rambled on, "Kida-kun will need to speak eventually, he just asked me to be his voice until it was too late. Isn't that right, Kida?" Izaya turned to the blonde, grinning maliciously.

Masaomi averted his glance from the broker, nodding against Mikado's shoulder.

Mikado frowned, staring down at his best friend. "Masaomi...are you sure?" He asked softly, staring down at him. "Izaya-san does not have to be a part of this if you don't want him to be."

Masaomi slowly glanced back to the information broker who just gave him his signature grin and then hesitantly back to the raven beside him. "I- I can't say what he's about to say."

Mikado furrowed his eyebrows together, trying to understand his fragile friend. "What do you mean by that?" Mikado frowned, "I'll get hurt, right?"

Masaomi nodded.

"A-" Izaya began to recite the rapists name before he noticed the blonde wince against the younger raven. Izaya's grin grew malicious, knowing this would be more fun than he would have ever expected. Kida was always predictable. "I have a better idea~! Why don't we guess, Mikado-kun~"

Mikado frowned, moving his gaze to the blonde by his side. "Masaomi, this is your choice. Do you want Orihara-san and I to torture you with this nonsensical guessing game or should he just spit it out?" Mikado hissed, glaring up at the man across the table.

Masaomi's fingers wrapped around Mikado's hand tightly.

Seconds passed.

Minutes.

"Masaomi?"

Masaomi jumped at his name, quickly looking up at his friend. "What?" He asked absent-mindedly.

"Your rapist, Masaomi. Do you want Izaya to just say the name of your rapist?"

Masaomi nodded hesitantly, "y-yes, or we can just forget about it and do things that make us happy." He replied, his eyes lighting up at the idea and tugging on Mikado's sleeve with his other arm. "You know, like how you, me, and Anri-chan would hang out and go to Russia Sushi. We can do that, can't we?"

"Right now?"

Masaomi grinned and stood up from his place at the table. "Yeah! Right now." He said, reaching down and pulling on Mikado's arm. "Come on, let's go!"

Izaya rose an eyebrow at the sudden turnabout of the blonde's personality. "Mikado. What the hell is going on?"

Mikado frowned, turning his attention back to the informant. "It's really none of your business, is it?"

Izaya frowned in response, and leaned over the coffee table. "Isn't it though? Did you not call me to help you figure out what's going on?"

"I called you to figure out who hurt Masaomi, not for you to interrogate him about his situation." Mikado spat back coldly. "So why don't you just tell me who his damn rapist is since that's what you came here for."

"First, we play the game." Izaya grinned.

Mikado's eyes would have bulged out of his face if they could. "Are you even fucking kidding me right now?" He frowned, before turning back to the blonde. "Masaomi. Please. Just sit. We'll see if Sonohara-san is available okay, but just sit for right now, okay?"

Massaomi frowned in disappointment, but did as he was told, sitting back down next to his best friend.

"Masaomi, I need you to focus, okay?" Mikado replied, turning his body to face him and placing hands on his cheeks. "Is your rapist in this room right now?"

Masaomi blinked, shaking his head. "No."

Mikado gritted his teeth, looking over at Izaya._ "Tell me."_

Masaomi tugged on Mikado's clothes, "Mikadooo," he whined. "Come on, let's go see if Anri-chan is busy!" He pouted.

"Tell me why he's acting like that and I will."

"It's_ none of your business,_ Izaya."

Izaya sighed softly, and stood up from his spot on the floor. "Fine, I guess you don't need me to help you on this case then. I mean, paying an informant could potentially get you all the information you ever wanted, but if you're unwilling to cooperate anymore - I'll just take the money and take my leave~" he said, brushing his pants off before moving to the door. A hand placed on the doorknob and-

"Wait!" Mikado groaned. "After the incident-"

"Incident?"

"Izaya, don't play innocent. You know what I'm talking about."

"Ah, an information broker always needs to know every little detail. It's essential for the correct information. There could have been a lot of incidents while I was away~" Izaya replied, grinning.

Mikado glared darkly up at the raven. "After he tried to commit suicide." He answered.

"Ah~ _Tha_t incident."

"Shut up." Mikado scoffed, this was not a time to play coy, especially now that Masaomi's behavorial changes were acting up. "He was committed to a bipolar disorder." He said. "Now, tell me who his attacker was."

"Well, I guess he really does live by the saying: keep your friends close, but your enemies closer." Izaya responded.

"What the hell are you talking about? Who was it, Izaya?"

"Aoba Kuronuma."

Masaomi stood up from his spot without a second though, and ran into Mikado's bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

"What?" Mikado said blankly. It seemed as if the whole world stopped for him. It couldn't have been Aoba. Why? What would Aoba gain from doing anything like that? "It can't be. Why? How did you find out? Is there any proof?" The questions and predictions were racing through his head of how and why he would and how he could, but Mikado couldn't come to the conclusion Aoba would actually do something like that.

Izaya's eyebrows raised, "you're honestly trying to find Aoba a way out of this situation?" He chuckled in amusement. "Did you even realize that your beloved Masaomi just locked himself in your room while he's still like that? Before drawing hypothesis and conclusions - I'd make sure Kida-kun isn't trying to jump out of your bedroom window." He replied, "If you need any more information from me, you know my number~" He bid his farewell, waving as he exited the apartment door.


End file.
